my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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