I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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