I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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