drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
