I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
