I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
