Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
