Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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