I faked an abortion last night.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
