I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
