Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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