I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
