Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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