All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
