there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
