Christians are straight up FREAKS
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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