TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
