He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
