My sheets look like a crime scene.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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