She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
