HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
