just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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