I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize