did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize