And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
