nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize