Me too!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
