Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
