You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
