why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
