he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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