Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
