you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize