I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
