my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
