Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
