so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
