i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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