I think I just saw someone hide a body.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Randomize
