Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
