I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize