which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
