we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
