Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
