My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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