But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize