I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
