I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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