Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
