i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
