My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
