he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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