I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
