do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
