dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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