I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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