she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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