i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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