bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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