im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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