i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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