Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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