so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
